Ponyrides

La! See how I have not died or given in. A triumph! I have until June to complete the first and a half draft. That is the deadline.

Shine!

Update on novel. The more I write, the more stuff pops up. It’s like a cross between the ingredients list for the world’s strangest cake and an attempt on the juggling with multiple and dangerous objects record.

Gods

Today I invented a religion. It struck me as I was writing about a character that I needed to know what religion he was operating out of and why that religion existed. If I didn't invent one, I'd be falling back on Catholicism, and that isn't really what the novel is about. So, I invented a religion, and whew, it was fun. I have a winner God and a loser God. The loser God seems nicer. I suspect like all religions the truth if there was ever any truth in it has been totally corrupted. I also worked out the power structures withing this religion. It all has to do with Geography actually. It's good to know.

"The" Novel

Although I have begun "the" novel before, many times, this is the first time I've begun "the" novel without other stories to distract me. I am distraction free. Either the story works or it doesn't, and if it doesn't, I have plenty of other ideas to pursue. The funny thing is I have many other novels outlined. This one is not. I don't know where it's going or how to connect the few things I do know. I also worry that it's bigger than me. I also do not know what age group I want it aimed at. And yet, I can write no other novel before it.

Writing and Meditation

Hmmm, giving up the Internet has been...interesting. Let's just call it a work in progress with very hopeful signs.
I've been meditating more, not regularly, but almost every day, and, life gets easier. No doubt.
Writing has been forward moving. I started writing a story, the usual feelings of torture and fear tightening my shoulders, but I resolved to run with it and try and get a fear free first draft done and worry about the length and the style of the beastie afterwards. 2500 words in, the beginning barely explored, I realised I had yet one more novel idea, as I think all my truely exciting ideas are. (Note to self, remember those two other novel ideas that just landed, The Year of the Beast, and Body Managers.)
So, I will expand the synopsis for Pearls, and then put it away for now. Angel is the novel that must be written. I will restart it tomorrow with a newly made synopsis.
What this has taught me, I think, is that the struggle of all those months was because I thought novel ideas could be condensed into stories. And maybe they could be. But I'm not the writer to do it, and I'm kind of ashamed of the reasons for even trying. And so, every time I had time to write ahead of me, I dreaded the horrible hatchet and containment (such a mixed metaphor) job, I was about to do on my wild imagination. But no more. The freedom of knowing my short story days are behind me is great.
But, I do have two finished short stories who must try and make their fortune in the wild, wild, world. TSOF is rewritten and will be sent off during the week and EC got a lovely personalised, you were so close, rejection for a pro market. I sent it back out the very same day.
Things are improving.
Meditate.
Life gets better.

Things that can't be done.

Web surfing and writing. Even when the web surfing is of the noble variety. (Is there such a thing?)
The Internet will not be switched on by me five days out of seven. That is all.

Last seen

No I didn't die, or give up. I did wobble though. I got sucked into a weirdness, a trawl through the underbelly of the soul. I almost wondered what was the point. Well, that was the point. To go there and back again, a little changed, a little more alert, different. Sorry for talking in riddles. I know what I'm on about. I'm back writing. Because I should. Because it's hard. Because I keep thinking about it.