Shine!

Update on novel. The more I write, the more stuff pops up. It’s like a cross between the ingredients list for the world’s strangest cake and an attempt on the juggling with multiple and dangerous objects record.

Gods

Today I invented a religion. It struck me as I was writing about a character that I needed to know what religion he was operating out of and why that religion existed. If I didn't invent one, I'd be falling back on Catholicism, and that isn't really what the novel is about. So, I invented a religion, and whew, it was fun. I have a winner God and a loser God. The loser God seems nicer. I suspect like all religions the truth if there was ever any truth in it has been totally corrupted. I also worked out the power structures withing this religion. It all has to do with Geography actually. It's good to know.

"The" Novel

Although I have begun "the" novel before, many times, this is the first time I've begun "the" novel without other stories to distract me. I am distraction free. Either the story works or it doesn't, and if it doesn't, I have plenty of other ideas to pursue. The funny thing is I have many other novels outlined. This one is not. I don't know where it's going or how to connect the few things I do know. I also worry that it's bigger than me. I also do not know what age group I want it aimed at. And yet, I can write no other novel before it.

Writing and Meditation

Hmmm, giving up the Internet has been...interesting. Let's just call it a work in progress with very hopeful signs.
I've been meditating more, not regularly, but almost every day, and, life gets easier. No doubt.
Writing has been forward moving. I started writing a story, the usual feelings of torture and fear tightening my shoulders, but I resolved to run with it and try and get a fear free first draft done and worry about the length and the style of the beastie afterwards. 2500 words in, the beginning barely explored, I realised I had yet one more novel idea, as I think all my truely exciting ideas are. (Note to self, remember those two other novel ideas that just landed, The Year of the Beast, and Body Managers.)
So, I will expand the synopsis for Pearls, and then put it away for now. Angel is the novel that must be written. I will restart it tomorrow with a newly made synopsis.
What this has taught me, I think, is that the struggle of all those months was because I thought novel ideas could be condensed into stories. And maybe they could be. But I'm not the writer to do it, and I'm kind of ashamed of the reasons for even trying. And so, every time I had time to write ahead of me, I dreaded the horrible hatchet and containment (such a mixed metaphor) job, I was about to do on my wild imagination. But no more. The freedom of knowing my short story days are behind me is great.
But, I do have two finished short stories who must try and make their fortune in the wild, wild, world. TSOF is rewritten and will be sent off during the week and EC got a lovely personalised, you were so close, rejection for a pro market. I sent it back out the very same day.
Things are improving.
Meditate.
Life gets better.

Things that can't be done.

Web surfing and writing. Even when the web surfing is of the noble variety. (Is there such a thing?)
The Internet will not be switched on by me five days out of seven. That is all.

Last seen

No I didn't die, or give up. I did wobble though. I got sucked into a weirdness, a trawl through the underbelly of the soul. I almost wondered what was the point. Well, that was the point. To go there and back again, a little changed, a little more alert, different. Sorry for talking in riddles. I know what I'm on about. I'm back writing. Because I should. Because it's hard. Because I keep thinking about it.

The phone rings. What to do?

It is strange how the minute, the exact minute that a person sits down to write, the phone rings. I mean, my fingers were suspended over the keys. But I answered it because it was one of my writing buddies, but according to all the writing gurus I should have ignored that call. But then, I live on my own, am I entitled to a little leeway on this particular rule?
Anyhoo, all through the call, I was a little bit freaked that I would lose my writing mojo. I didn't. Hurray! But it definitely got diluted. Booo!! I didn' t write for as long as I thought I would, but I did achieve my aim which was to tidy up the additions to the trunked story. I'm still thinking about the ending. Whether it needs a bit of a bump or whether it's good to go. Will think more tomorrow. Still haven't thought of a good name for my flash. Damn, damn, have to send it off on Monday. Hopefully I'll dream one up tonight, literally. I shall go to bed and think of it incessantly until I sleep. There, obsession or what?

Bad, bad, day so far. Another snow day, got up real late, dragged around, haven't written anything so far. Feel icky. Oh, well. Day is not over yet. There is hope.

Working

This blogging to myself seems to be really working. I can't wait to do some writing so I can come here and tell myself all about it. :)
Today we had a snow day from work. It must have taken about six hours worth of phone calls and texts to sort it all out though so it's well earned.
I wrote some more on the trunk story. The good news is that all the new bits have been written. They are as rough as, but they're done. Later on today I will go and shine them up. I have also slotted them into place, just must plane over the seams.
I don't seem ready to go gung-ho on the novel just yet. I'm doing world building and scene dreaming, (new term, just invented) and am happy with that for now. But not for long.

A so-so kind of a day today. I did my morning headquarters so felt a bit better having that done. Didn’t get up that early but still felt in charge of the day given that I had it all to myself. I don’t consider it too much of a sin because I was up till half four finishing a book I was reading. All part of the process.

Writing wise, mixed results. I dreamed up the first three potential opening scenes (oh, how many times will I come up with new opening scenes?) However, this angle feels right, whether or not these particular scenes and these particular words stick.) They transferred to the page, okish, very first draftish, well the first one did, the second, meh, and the third, well, I know where I’m going with it, but no, it’s not done.

My head is very scattered today. The roads are horrible with compacted ice and was awaiting word as to whether or not work is reopening. It is. Spent some part of evening on phone with colleagues ranting and worrying. It did fairly put a dent on my writing mojo. Note to self. Try to protect writing mojo.

I have written my goodbye post for my old blog. I’ve been thinking about deleting it for a while now, a couple of months and I’ve finally talked myself into the position where it doesn’t just feel right, it feels good. Like a weight of my shoulders. Writing, for me, is not a team sport.

Had a quick look at my trunked story, wrote some more into it. It’s coming out nice. Will go at it again tomorrow.

Bad day?

Yup, this wasn't so good of a day. Actually slept through my alarm. Not good. Didn't do my morning headquarters work either. That appears to be key. If I do it, I'm better than not. On the plus side, I critted two stories for friends and got two four crits back, all positive but with nit picky bits. Will work on that tomorrow. But yeah, it wasn't a great day.

It's a new day

Well I got up early (ish). Early for me anyway, and an improvement on what I've been doing. Will continue to work on this. I finished the flash. I think it needs a little bit of tweaking but it's mostly done. Now I'm going to send it to two friends to see do they get it.

I have a plan regarding Internet usage. This is a strange world where time moves in a very strange way. A wee look around turns into a three hour session. Trying to cut down to one hour a day has proved to be too much cold turkey. So my new plan is to only allow myself one hour at a time. If I want more, I can come back after an hour has passed. This ensures twelve WWW free hours every day at least. :)

Tomorrow, Pearls. Not all of it of course, but a beginning and damn it, it looks like the untrunkable story is pushing at that lid again.

The beauty of seclusion

I figure no one can find me here. So I can be real. I'm not trying to convince anyone, placate anyone, impress anyone, protect myself against anyone or anything. So here I can say I am having a little (BIG) problem with disorganisation. I am going to try and improve. Tomorrow I would like to get up early, (ISH) tidy a little, finish off my flash and start Pearls, as if it hasn't been started already. Then I need to make a writing timetable, oh, and never tell anyone about this blog. This is my record. I will post here once a week and record what's going on with me.